New Year Resolutions – Bringing Back the Family Dinner

Today’s Topic – The Family Dinner

  • Picky eaters
  • Kids with lots of sports and activities
  • Parents working late
  • Parents who travel for work
  • Stress and more stress
  • Not enough time in the day to get everything done
  • Grumpy teens
  • 1500 channels on the TV
  • iPads, Phones, tablets, etc
  • Busy, Busy Lives

The Benefits of Family Dinner

  • Toddlers and children have a wider vocabulary. Β The recommended amount of words per day that a child should hear from their caregiver is 3000 or more. Β Dinner time is usually 1000 or more simple and complex words. Β This is more then what they hear from listening to books being read out loud. Β Words from TV and iPad do not count.Β The study.
  • More fruits, veggies, and protein consumed. Β Less soda, crackers, fried foods, and snacks eaten as toddlers.
  • Less picky eaters in the house
  • FYI – Teen habits are formed during toddler years.
  • Manners and taking turns at speaking are critical life lessons
  • More family meal times = higher academic achievement in schoolΒ The Study.
  • Less anxiety and less asthmaΒ The study.
  • Eating family dinner with the TV off = healthier weights in children in the short and long term. Β The study.
  • Eating with the TV on leads to unhealthy weight in children of all ages and from many countries.Β A whole bunch more studies
  • Setting and cleaning the table are important chores to be done by all.
  • 75% reduction in risky teen behaviors: Β smoking marijuana, drinking alcohol, sex, teen pregnancy, smoking, dropping out of school, violence, eating disorders Β The Study.
  • Family meals increase the psychological well being of teens. Β Thus decreasing depression, suicidal ideation, and anxiety and improving overall mood. Β Improved mood = less grumpy teens.Β The study,Β Another study.
  • Teens who are victims of cyber bullying adjust better and overcome these issues better and faster, when they are part of regular family meals.Β The study.
  • Kids who dine with their families have a better outlook on their future. The Study.
  • Teens get better grades in school.Β The Study.
  • Generally teens are drawn to junk, soda, and fried foods. Β However, family meals provide them with more fruits, veggies, vitamins and nutrients. Β Teens who eat regularly with their parents grow up to eat healthier diets as adults.Β The Study,Β Another study.
  • Being respectful, sitting silent while other speak, listening to what other say, contributing to a conversation without auto correct, emojis, and selfies, are vital life lessons for adult interactions and career success.

Steps to Creating Family Dinner

  • No TV, no iPads, no Cell phones on/or under the table.
    • But the news on ISIS is so interesting and we need to be up to date. Β Great, readΒ The SkimmΒ and stay informed about the world. Β  Now pay attention to the kids. Β The greatest and latest news affecting your life is happening every day around your table.Β 
    • But how will I know the latest Soccer score? Β Latest Jeopardy Questions? Record your games/show and watch it later. Β The most critical score is on the latest project, test, and current report card.Β 
  • Start with set days when people have the least activities and set it in stone, no exceptions. Β The Goal is a Minimum of 4 Family Meals a week ( don’t make me link more studies). Don’t forget that few activities run late on Saturday and Sunday nights. Use these nights for family time.
  • If parents come home late from work every night, pick a night to reverse the night time routine. Β Ex: give kids a healthy snack in early afternoon (fruits, veggie, protein, not goldfish), do homework, bath, read books, and other night time routines and then eat dinner. Β There is no rule about what comes first. In our house during football and dive season, we eat at 8:30 some nights. We just make it happen.

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  • Parents often work late, way too late to make waiting up for them possible. Β For instance, my husband and I are both physicians and we have tons of charts to complete, phone calls to make, letters to write, administrative emails to read, blah blah blah. Β However, we have a set time when we have to be home for family time. Β This works 90% of time.
    • This means that some emails will have to wait.
    • Occasional meetings have to be left early
    • Charts have to be left for the next day
    • Blogs have to be written another day
    • There are always critical deadlines, important meetings, and important projects at work. Β I say, prioritize a bit differently some nights. Β The most important project you will ever create is a well adjusted productive member of society, also known as your child. Β A deadline that must not be forgotten is the day your child moves out of your house. Β Critical meetings that cannot be trivialized are Family Dinners.

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  • In some families, a parent is traveling all the time or can never ever be home on time despite good intentions. Β In this case, I urge the parent at home to sit down with the kids whether the parent is eating or not. Β Sitting down for 15min with the kids, rather then doing things while the kids eat, can cinch a connection that is difficult to make in carpool, story time, or other times of the day. (see studies above)
  • Conversation is an important part of the dinner time. Β Make a great effort to keep lines of communication positive and interactive. Β It may difficult at first, but like anything else, practice makes perfect. Β What to talk about?
    • Our favorite is Rose, Bud, Thorne
      • Rose: best part of your day
      • Thorne: unpleasant part of the day
      • Bud: what are you looking forward to
      • Other ideas:
          • Who did you help today?
          • Who did you play with?
          • What was your biggest struggle today?
          • Challenge each person around the table to do something the next day – open the door for someone, chat with a person with whom you rarely interact, play with the kid left out, etc.

In Good Health, Ana-Maria Temple, MD

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